How Authentic Should I Be @ Work?

Ugh, a friend brought up a dilemma the other day which has got me thinking about this blog…

She mentioned that she wrote an article about her infertility struggles in the past and now she’s a teacher and doesn’t want her students knowing that aspect of her.

She mentioned it’s great to be vulnerable with a safe community (like the Happy Asian Woman private Facebook group where everyone is a referral or has been vetted by an admin (aka me)).

But being 100% vulnerable on this blog can open me up to trolls.

Not to mention it could impact my college admissions coaching business, since parents would probably be reading this blog to check out my writing style and ability. (Hi, potential clients!)

So, that got me nervous because I share many deeply personal stories about parenting, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, etc. on this blog that I typically wouldn’t share with prospective clients.

I went home and spent 90 minutes scrubbing the blog, taking it from a “9” in terms of vulnerability to an “8”.

I’m still really happy with it, but later on during a walk with a friend, she said the difference between a “9” and an “8” could cause someone to stop reading. It’s the “9” that grabs you and helps the stories resonate.

She brought up some other great points, like she heard a branding coach say if you’re worried about making a video that sounds totally cray cray but is what you truly believe, you should do it anyways because - yes you will lose 50% of viewers - but you’ll also draw 50% rabid fans.

The difference between saying I yell at my kids versus that I try really hard not to yell at my kids, matters.

(Plus, I know my clients and their kids have yelling matches, because they tell me. That’s why they hire me :))

I definitely struggle with whether to tone things down on this blog because I’m working on bringing a sexuality / sex coach onto the podcast (it will be a very professional interview, I promise!) and I’m wondering how the interview will go now that I’m fully cognizant of the fact that my college admission coaching clients might listen to the episode.

(But if you're a parent, you’ve probably had sex and had some questions about it… and you might even want to listen to the episode because who wouldn’t want to be more comfortable in their sexuality?)

And another perspective - I got input from a therapist friend who said she shares openly, but not typically with her clients unless she thinks they can benefit.

I’m not exactly a therapist, but I sense overlap in our work and I think it’s important to maintain appropriate distance and decorum with my students.

This morning the final poll was with my husband who summed it up nicely: There is no right answer. Do what feels best for you.

I’ve decided to go with a strategy that is not black and white, but employs flexible thinking.

I’m going to do a mixture of both professional (enough) work and highly personal / vulnerable sharing — in different spaces.

I will do my best to keep the authenticity and vulnerability on this blog high going forward.

I can’t guarantee it will be perfect (I’m human after all) so if you want the TRUE story with a 9.5 on authenticity / vulnerability, join our private Facebook group where we talk about all these issues and more (like how to get your husband and kids to cook and clean more!)

See you on FB :)

How about you? How authentic are you at work? Do you think being 100% authentic and vulnerable helps or hurts you at work?