The Baddest Bitch in the Room Mentors Me (with a Group for One Hour)

Jan 21

I love the Baddest Bitch in the Room (a.k.a. Sophia Chang) because she’s everything (Asian) women in society are pressured against.

She drops the f-bomb left and right.

She shaves her head and has a warrior haircut.

She talks unabashedly about misogyny, racism, boundaries, parenting and… sex.

She’s in her mid to late 50s, a screenwriter and author and the first Asian woman in hip hop. “Raised by Wu Tang” as she puts it, Sophia managed Ol’ Dirty Bastard, RZA, GZA, Q Tip, A Tribe Called Quest, etc.) and released her first book The Baddest Bitch in the Room: A Memoir 3 years ago.

So when I heard about her baby Unlock Her Potential, a free mentoring program she started for Women of Color, I knew I had to apply and ask her to mentor me.

The program received thousands of applications and had a 6% acceptance rate.

I was not selected to be her 1:1 mentee for monthly hourlong sessions -- but she did invite me and roughly a dozen others to a group mentoring session earlier this month.

During the session Sophia was everything she is on her public Instagram reels - smart, eloquent, warm and wise.

Her advice was so inspiring I shared it with one of my closest friends that evening and want to share highlights with the rest of you all.

Here goes:

Apply for every opportunity you can.

Network: Reach out to everyone - you may not hear from most people but you never know. Ask people to mentor you. The best case scenario of asking is better than the worst case scenario of not asking.

Learn to read a contract - hire a lawyer.
“How do you recover from burnout?” someone asked.
I don’t burn out, Sophia answered.
She balances her life by sleeping, eating healthy, exercising and practicing self care. Many women burn out by constantly taking care of others and we shouldn’t be working that hard.
She is not a busy person.

Many people operate out of fear. What are you afraid of? What is blocking you? Fear limits you. Start small. Everything takes practice. We can train our brains.

Find your passion. Take risks. What is the best and worst case scenario resulting from your decision and can you live with the worst case? If so, do it. Fear and guilt are terrible motivators. Acknowledge and confront your fear.

Self love, self renewal and self care are incredibly important.

If you have many passions, make a list and prioritize your passions. Choose the top 2 to 3 to explore and use trial and error. You can’t learn without making mistakes. Allow yourself to make mistakes. No experience is ever wasted.

I asked Sophia how she balanced work and mothering young children. “Practice 1 hour of self care per day,” she answered.
I also asked how to build a personal brand and she said, “Find your voice and what makes you unique.”

Sophia said her greatest legacies are her children and the Women of Color mentoring program she has built. I’m so grateful for her generously investing in us all.

If you want to learn more from Sophia, there’s a live in-person symposium in Brooklyn, NY on Saturday March 25. And you can always buy her book and follow her on Instagram where she is completely and refreshingly utterly herself.

What opportunities have you applied for and what risks have you taken? What’s the best advice your mentors have given you?

YOU’LL ALSO LOVE…
A Wise Asian Woman Once Said: F*ck This Sh*t

Grow a Backbone

How to Be More Confident - Unexpected Tips from My Therapist

From the Podcast:

Ep. 31 & 32. Have Better Sex and Embrace Your Sensuality w/Dr. Toni Liu
Ep. 18 & 19: Taking Risks, Overcoming Rejection, and Making a Living as a Creative, with YouTube Star Artist Clara Lieu

Ep. 16 & 17: Self Advocacy w/o Being a B*tch at Work and at Home

Ep 1 & 2: Learning to Speak Out and also Raise Assertive Daughters