A Wise Asian Woman Once Said: F*ck This Sh*t

My father died 6 days ago.

I thought I’d be sad.

Instead I’m feeling rage.

My father’s death feels surreal - it will probably be more real when we put his body in the ground during the funeral next week.

During my bereavement period, I decided to read the book We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth and Gaining Economic Power by Rachel Rodgers because I heard about it on the 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care podcast.

While I’m not planning to make $1m/year from my college admission coaching business anytime soon, what I loved about the book is her talk on mindset.

“What would you do if you were a bad girl?” Rodgers tells women to ask themselves.

Women are conditioned to be “good girls” and put everyone’s needs ahead of their own.

I also reviewed all the notes from my therapist over the past 9.5 months since my dad got sick.

The common theme was…

Grow a backbone.

Speak your Truth in love (so people can hear you and not be defensive).

Let other people take responsibility.

I’ve realized all the ways I’ve been devaluing myself and giving away my power — from wearing ratty clothes, to not hiring enough childcare because I “should” do it myself to be a “good” mom.

I bought two t-shirts on Amazon that said, “A Wise Woman Once Said: Fck This Sht and She lived Happily Ever After” and “I’m not Always a Btch. Just Kidding. Go Fck Yourself”.

My husband and 10-year old daughter saw the shirts in our Amazon basket before I bought them and thought our account was hacked.

My daughter literally told me she was scared I was going to be a “bad girl”.

I started laughing and told her all the reasons why we should not be “good” girls.

And then I explained to her if powerful women are considered bitches, by all means, we should be bitches.